Navigating Marriage, Singleness, and Sexuality: An Exploration of I Corinthians 7
Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman.
Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.
Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.
The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.
Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.
But I speak this by permission, and not of commandment.
For I would that all men were even as I myself. But every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that.
I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, It is good for them if they abide even as I.
But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.
And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband:
But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.
But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away.
And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him.
For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.
But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.
For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife?
But as God hath distributed to every man, as the Lord hath called every one, so let him walk. And so ordain I in all churches.
Is any man called being circumcised? let him not become uncircumcised. Is any called in uncircumcision? let him not be circumcised.
Circumcision is nothing, and uncircumcision is nothing, but the keeping of the commandments of God.
Let every man abide in the same calling wherein he was called.
Art thou called being a servant? care not for it: but if thou mayest be made free, use it rather.
For he that is called in the Lord, being a servant, is the Lord’s freeman: likewise also he that is called, being free, is Christ’s servant.
Ye are bought with a price; be not ye the servants of men.
Brethren, let every man, wherein he is called, therein abide with God.
Now concerning virgins I have no commandment of the Lord: yet I give my judgment, as one that hath obtained mercy of the Lord to be faithful.
I suppose therefore that this is good for the present distress, I say, that it is good for a man so to be.
Art thou bound unto a wife? seek not to be loosed. Art thou loosed from a wife? seek not a wife.
But and if thou marry, thou hast not sinned; and if a virgin marry, she hath not sinned. Nevertheless such shall have trouble in the flesh: but I spare you.
But this I say, brethren, the time is short: it remaineth, that both they that have wives be as though they had none;
And they that weep, as though they wept not; and they that rejoice, as though they rejoiced not; and they that buy, as though they possessed not;
And they that use this world, as not abusing it: for the fashion of this world passeth away.
But I would have you without carefulness. He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord:
But he that is married careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife.
There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband.
And this I speak for your own profit; not that I may cast a snare upon you, but for that which is comely, and that ye may attend upon the Lord without distraction.
But if any man think that he behaveth himself uncomely toward his virgin, if she pass the flower of her age, and need so require, let him do what he will, he sinneth not: let them marry.
Nevertheless he that standeth stedfast in his heart, having no necessity, but hath power over his own will, and hath so decreed in his heart that he will keep his virgin, doeth well.
So then he that giveth her in marriage doeth well; but he that giveth her not in marriage doeth better.
The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord.
But she is happier if she so abide, after my judgment: and I think also that I have the Spirit of God.
I Corinthians 7 addresses a range of questions about marriage, singleness, and sexuality within the Christian community. This chapter offers practical guidance rooted in both the immediate concerns of the Corinthian church and the broader implications of living as followers of Christ in a rapidly changing world. Understanding I Corinthians 7 requires careful attention to its historical context and the enduring principles it offers for believers today. Let's delve into the wisdom found in this chapter, section by section.
Addressing the Corinthians' Questions (I Corinthians 7:1-9)
Paul begins by addressing specific questions the Corinthians had sent him in a letter. The first issue he tackles is the idea that "it is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman" (I Corinthians 7:1). This statement, likely a quote from the Corinthians themselves, suggests that some in the church may have believed even married Christians should abstain from sex or that Christians should not marry at all. This might have been influenced by Gnostic ideas, a reaction to the rampant sexual immorality of the time, or even secular philosophies promoting celibacy as a path to higher spirituality.
Paul firmly rejects this notion. He emphasizes the importance of sexual intimacy within marriage, stating that husbands and wives should not deprive each other, except by mutual consent and for a limited time, for the purpose of prayer (I Corinthians 7:2-5). This mutual responsibility acknowledges the intimate bond of marriage, where both partners have authority over each other's bodies. The purpose of this intimacy is to protect against sexual immorality, a very real threat in Corinth and a concern that remains relevant today. Sexual expression within marriage is not immoral; it is God's design.
Paul, being single himself, expresses his wish that all could be as he is (I Corinthians 7:7). He acknowledges the "gift of celibacy," the ability to live contentedly without the distractions of sexual desire. However, he recognizes that not everyone has this gift. For those who lack self-control, it is better to marry than to "burn with passion" (I Corinthians 7:9). Marriage is a wise and legitimate pursuit for those not gifted with celibacy.
Remaining in Your Calling: Marriage and Divorce (I Corinthians 7:10-16)
Paul then addresses the issue of divorce among believers. He commands that Christians should not divorce (I Corinthians 7:10). If separation does occur, the individuals should remain unmarried or be reconciled to their spouse (I Corinthians 7:11). This aligns with Jesus' teachings on the sanctity of marriage (Matthew 19:1-9) and God's desire for faithfulness in covenant relationships (Malachi 2:10-16). Even when difficulties arise, Paul urges reconciliation over divorce.
A particularly complex situation arises when a Christian is married to an unbeliever. Paul addresses this, clarifying that these instructions are his own, inspired by the Holy Spirit, since Jesus did not directly address this specific scenario during his earthly ministry (I Corinthians 7:12). The believing spouse should not divorce the unbelieving spouse, because the unbelieving spouse is made holy through the believing spouse (I Corinthians 7:12-14). This doesn't mean the unbeliever is automatically saved, but rather that the Christian's presence brings a measure of grace and blessing into the marriage and family. The believing spouse can share the gospel and their children also benefit.
However, Paul acknowledges that an unbelieving spouse may choose to leave the marriage. In such cases, the believer is not bound (I Corinthians 7:15). Abandonment, like adultery, can be an exception to the prohibition against divorce. If the Christian spouse has done everything possible to preserve the marriage, but the unbeliever still leaves, Scripture considers such a situation legitimate grounds for divorce (and, thus, the believing spouse would be free to remarry). This highlights the importance of seeking peace and not being held captive by an unwilling partner. The church must validate accusations of abandonment.
The hope is that the believing spouse might save the unbeliever through the gospel witness (I Corinthians 7:16). The daily exposure to the gospel is a powerful testimony that God might use to bring someone to faith in Christ.
Contentment in Your Present Circumstances (I Corinthians 7:17-24)
Paul emphasizes a key principle: each person should remain in the situation they were in when God called them (I Corinthians 7:17). This applies to various aspects of life, including marital status, circumcision, and social standing. Whether one is circumcised or uncircumcised before becoming a believer does not matter (I Corinthians 7:18-19). Externals are non-essential. What matters is internalizing God’s commands and keeping them (I Corinthians 7:19).
This also applies to those who were slaves. If they could avail themselves of their freedom, Paul encourages them to do so (I Corinthians 7:21). But if unable to gain it, Paul tells them that they can still serve Christ. For even one who is called by the Lord as a slave is the Lord’s freedman. Believers have been bought at a price by the blood of Christ, so regardless of our status in life, we are to serve as Christ’s slave (I Corinthians 7:22-23). Christian, no matter your vocation, you are called first and foremost to render faithful service to the Lord who saved you.
This principle of contentment doesn't mean we should never seek change, but rather that we should not be driven by anxiety or discontentment. Instead, we should focus on serving God faithfully in our current circumstances, trusting that He has a purpose for us where we are.
The Urgency of the Times and the Advantages of Singleness (I Corinthians 7:25-35)
Paul shifts his focus to the unmarried, offering his "judgment" or "opinion" on the matter (I Corinthians 7:25). He emphasizes the "present distress" or the challenges and difficulties inherent in this life (I Corinthians 7:26). Given the brevity of life and the impending return of Christ, Paul suggests that it is good for a person to remain as they are, whether married or unmarried (I Corinthians 7:26-27).
He clarifies that getting married is not a sin, but it does bring with it certain earthly troubles and responsibilities (I Corinthians 7:28). Paul is not trying to put a restraint on the Corinthians and prevent them from marrying but to help them be devoted to the Lord without distraction (I Corinthians 7:35).
Paul highlights the unique advantages of singleness. An unmarried believer is free to be concerned about the things of the Lord in a way that a married believer cannot (I Corinthians 7:32). The married believer has obligations to his spouse, so his interests are divided (I Corinthians 7:33-34). Paul is not devaluing marriage, but rather emphasizing the undivided devotion that singleness can offer. Adam was consumed with his calling until God gave him Eve. Likewise, every Christian single should maximize the freedom of his or her single status until God brings a mate. It is okay to have the desire for a mate; it is not okay to allow the desire to become a spiritual distraction.
Guidance on Betrothal and Remarriage (I Corinthians 7:36-40)
Paul addresses the practice of fathers dedicating their virgin daughters to the Lord, suggesting that they are free to break such pledges when their daughters reach marriageable age and desire to marry (I Corinthians 7:36). The issue is not a matter of right or wrong (I Corinthians 7:37-38; cf. 7:28).
Finally, Paul addresses remarriage after the death of a spouse. A Christian husband or wife is bound as long as the spouse is living. But if the spouse dies, a believer is free to remarry anyone . . . only in the Lord (I Corinthians 7:39). This means that a believer in Jesus Christ must marry a fellow believer. Within that context, there is freedom of choice.
Though marriage is permissible in this case, Paul concludes by again providing Spirit-inspired counsel: If a believer has lost a spouse, Paul believes he or she is happier remaining unmarried (I Corinthians 7:40).
I Corinthians 7 offers timeless wisdom on navigating the complexities of marriage, singleness, and sexuality. By understanding the historical context and applying the enduring principles, believers can find guidance and encouragement for living faithfully in their own unique circumstances.
Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman.
Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.
Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.
The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.
Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.
But I speak this by permission, and not of commandment.
For I would that all men were even as I myself. But every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that.
I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, It is good for them if they abide even as I.
But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.
And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband:
But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.
But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away.
And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him.
For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.
But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.
For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife?
But as God hath distributed to every man, as the Lord hath called every one, so let him walk. And so ordain I in all churches.
Is any man called being circumcised? let him not become uncircumcised. Is any called in uncircumcision? let him not be circumcised.
Circumcision is nothing, and uncircumcision is nothing, but the keeping of the commandments of God.
Let every man abide in the same calling wherein he was called.
Art thou called being a servant? care not for it: but if thou mayest be made free, use it rather.
For he that is called in the Lord, being a servant, is the Lord’s freeman: likewise also he that is called, being free, is Christ’s servant.
Ye are bought with a price; be not ye the servants of men.
Brethren, let every man, wherein he is called, therein abide with God.
Now concerning virgins I have no commandment of the Lord: yet I give my judgment, as one that hath obtained mercy of the Lord to be faithful.
I suppose therefore that this is good for the present distress, I say, that it is good for a man so to be.
Art thou bound unto a wife? seek not to be loosed. Art thou loosed from a wife? seek not a wife.
But and if thou marry, thou hast not sinned; and if a virgin marry, she hath not sinned. Nevertheless such shall have trouble in the flesh: but I spare you.
But this I say, brethren, the time is short: it remaineth, that both they that have wives be as though they had none;
And they that weep, as though they wept not; and they that rejoice, as though they rejoiced not; and they that buy, as though they possessed not;
And they that use this world, as not abusing it: for the fashion of this world passeth away.
But I would have you without carefulness. He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord:
But he that is married careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife.
There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband.
And this I speak for your own profit; not that I may cast a snare upon you, but for that which is comely, and that ye may attend upon the Lord without distraction.
But if any man think that he behaveth himself uncomely toward his virgin, if she pass the flower of her age, and need so require, let him do what he will, he sinneth not: let them marry.
Nevertheless he that standeth stedfast in his heart, having no necessity, but hath power over his own will, and hath so decreed in his heart that he will keep his virgin, doeth well.
So then he that giveth her in marriage doeth well; but he that giveth her not in marriage doeth better.
The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord.
But she is happier if she so abide, after my judgment: and I think also that I have the Spirit of God.
I Corinthians 7 addresses a range of questions about marriage, singleness, and sexuality within the Christian community. This chapter offers practical guidance rooted in both the immediate concerns of the Corinthian church and the broader implications of living as followers of Christ in a rapidly changing world. Understanding I Corinthians 7 requires careful attention to its historical context and the enduring principles it offers for believers today. Let's delve into the wisdom found in this chapter, section by section.
Addressing the Corinthians' Questions (I Corinthians 7:1-9)
Paul begins by addressing specific questions the Corinthians had sent him in a letter. The first issue he tackles is the idea that "it is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman" (I Corinthians 7:1). This statement, likely a quote from the Corinthians themselves, suggests that some in the church may have believed even married Christians should abstain from sex or that Christians should not marry at all. This might have been influenced by Gnostic ideas, a reaction to the rampant sexual immorality of the time, or even secular philosophies promoting celibacy as a path to higher spirituality.
Paul firmly rejects this notion. He emphasizes the importance of sexual intimacy within marriage, stating that husbands and wives should not deprive each other, except by mutual consent and for a limited time, for the purpose of prayer (I Corinthians 7:2-5). This mutual responsibility acknowledges the intimate bond of marriage, where both partners have authority over each other's bodies. The purpose of this intimacy is to protect against sexual immorality, a very real threat in Corinth and a concern that remains relevant today. Sexual expression within marriage is not immoral; it is God's design.
Paul, being single himself, expresses his wish that all could be as he is (I Corinthians 7:7). He acknowledges the "gift of celibacy," the ability to live contentedly without the distractions of sexual desire. However, he recognizes that not everyone has this gift. For those who lack self-control, it is better to marry than to "burn with passion" (I Corinthians 7:9). Marriage is a wise and legitimate pursuit for those not gifted with celibacy.
Remaining in Your Calling: Marriage and Divorce (I Corinthians 7:10-16)
Paul then addresses the issue of divorce among believers. He commands that Christians should not divorce (I Corinthians 7:10). If separation does occur, the individuals should remain unmarried or be reconciled to their spouse (I Corinthians 7:11). This aligns with Jesus' teachings on the sanctity of marriage (Matthew 19:1-9) and God's desire for faithfulness in covenant relationships (Malachi 2:10-16). Even when difficulties arise, Paul urges reconciliation over divorce.
A particularly complex situation arises when a Christian is married to an unbeliever. Paul addresses this, clarifying that these instructions are his own, inspired by the Holy Spirit, since Jesus did not directly address this specific scenario during his earthly ministry (I Corinthians 7:12). The believing spouse should not divorce the unbelieving spouse, because the unbelieving spouse is made holy through the believing spouse (I Corinthians 7:12-14). This doesn't mean the unbeliever is automatically saved, but rather that the Christian's presence brings a measure of grace and blessing into the marriage and family. The believing spouse can share the gospel and their children also benefit.
However, Paul acknowledges that an unbelieving spouse may choose to leave the marriage. In such cases, the believer is not bound (I Corinthians 7:15). Abandonment, like adultery, can be an exception to the prohibition against divorce. If the Christian spouse has done everything possible to preserve the marriage, but the unbeliever still leaves, Scripture considers such a situation legitimate grounds for divorce (and, thus, the believing spouse would be free to remarry). This highlights the importance of seeking peace and not being held captive by an unwilling partner. The church must validate accusations of abandonment.
The hope is that the believing spouse might save the unbeliever through the gospel witness (I Corinthians 7:16). The daily exposure to the gospel is a powerful testimony that God might use to bring someone to faith in Christ.
Contentment in Your Present Circumstances (I Corinthians 7:17-24)
Paul emphasizes a key principle: each person should remain in the situation they were in when God called them (I Corinthians 7:17). This applies to various aspects of life, including marital status, circumcision, and social standing. Whether one is circumcised or uncircumcised before becoming a believer does not matter (I Corinthians 7:18-19). Externals are non-essential. What matters is internalizing God’s commands and keeping them (I Corinthians 7:19).
This also applies to those who were slaves. If they could avail themselves of their freedom, Paul encourages them to do so (I Corinthians 7:21). But if unable to gain it, Paul tells them that they can still serve Christ. For even one who is called by the Lord as a slave is the Lord’s freedman. Believers have been bought at a price by the blood of Christ, so regardless of our status in life, we are to serve as Christ’s slave (I Corinthians 7:22-23). Christian, no matter your vocation, you are called first and foremost to render faithful service to the Lord who saved you.
This principle of contentment doesn't mean we should never seek change, but rather that we should not be driven by anxiety or discontentment. Instead, we should focus on serving God faithfully in our current circumstances, trusting that He has a purpose for us where we are.
The Urgency of the Times and the Advantages of Singleness (I Corinthians 7:25-35)
Paul shifts his focus to the unmarried, offering his "judgment" or "opinion" on the matter (I Corinthians 7:25). He emphasizes the "present distress" or the challenges and difficulties inherent in this life (I Corinthians 7:26). Given the brevity of life and the impending return of Christ, Paul suggests that it is good for a person to remain as they are, whether married or unmarried (I Corinthians 7:26-27).
He clarifies that getting married is not a sin, but it does bring with it certain earthly troubles and responsibilities (I Corinthians 7:28). Paul is not trying to put a restraint on the Corinthians and prevent them from marrying but to help them be devoted to the Lord without distraction (I Corinthians 7:35).
Paul highlights the unique advantages of singleness. An unmarried believer is free to be concerned about the things of the Lord in a way that a married believer cannot (I Corinthians 7:32). The married believer has obligations to his spouse, so his interests are divided (I Corinthians 7:33-34). Paul is not devaluing marriage, but rather emphasizing the undivided devotion that singleness can offer. Adam was consumed with his calling until God gave him Eve. Likewise, every Christian single should maximize the freedom of his or her single status until God brings a mate. It is okay to have the desire for a mate; it is not okay to allow the desire to become a spiritual distraction.
Guidance on Betrothal and Remarriage (I Corinthians 7:36-40)
Paul addresses the practice of fathers dedicating their virgin daughters to the Lord, suggesting that they are free to break such pledges when their daughters reach marriageable age and desire to marry (I Corinthians 7:36). The issue is not a matter of right or wrong (I Corinthians 7:37-38; cf. 7:28).
Finally, Paul addresses remarriage after the death of a spouse. A Christian husband or wife is bound as long as the spouse is living. But if the spouse dies, a believer is free to remarry anyone . . . only in the Lord (I Corinthians 7:39). This means that a believer in Jesus Christ must marry a fellow believer. Within that context, there is freedom of choice.
Though marriage is permissible in this case, Paul concludes by again providing Spirit-inspired counsel: If a believer has lost a spouse, Paul believes he or she is happier remaining unmarried (I Corinthians 7:40).
I Corinthians 7 offers timeless wisdom on navigating the complexities of marriage, singleness, and sexuality. By understanding the historical context and applying the enduring principles, believers can find guidance and encouragement for living faithfully in their own unique circumstances.