Colossians 3 Commentary: Living the Resurrected Life
If ye then be risen with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ sitteth on the right hand of God.
Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth.
For ye are dead, and your life is hid with Christ in God.
When Christ, who is our life, shall appear, then shall ye also appear with him in glory.
Mortify therefore your members which are upon the earth; fornication, uncleanness, inordinate affection, evil concupiscence, and covetousness, which is idolatry:
For which things’ sake the wrath of God cometh on the children of disobedience:
In the which ye also walked some time, when ye lived in them.
But now ye also put off all these; anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy communication out of your mouth.
Lie not one to another, seeing that ye have put off the old man with his deeds;
And have put on the new man, which is renewed in knowledge after the image of him that created him:
Where there is neither Greek nor Jew, circumcision nor uncircumcision, Barbarian, Scythian, bond nor free: but Christ is all, and in all.
Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering;
Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.
And above all these things put on charity, which is the bond of perfectness.
And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to the which also ye are called in one body; and be ye thankful.
Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom; teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord.
And whatsoever ye do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by him.
Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.
Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.
Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord.
Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.
Servants, obey in all things your masters according to the flesh; not with eyeservice, as menpleasers; but in singleness of heart, fearing God:
And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men;
Knowing that of the Lord ye shall receive the reward of the inheritance: for ye serve the Lord Christ.
But he that doeth wrong shall receive for the wrong which he hath done: and there is no respect of persons.
Colossians 3 delves into the practical implications of the profound theological truths presented in the preceding chapters. Having established the supremacy of Christ and the emptiness of worldly philosophies, Paul now guides believers in Colossae (and us today!) on how to live out their new identity in Christ in everyday life. This chapter, along with the beginning of Colossians 4, offers a rich tapestry of instruction on Christian conduct, household relationships, and the motivation behind it all: a life lived for the glory of God.
Setting Our Minds on Things Above (Colossians 3:1-4)
Paul begins by urging us to reorient our thinking. He says in Colossians 3:1-2, since you have been raised with Christ, strive for the things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things." This isn't about escaping earthly responsibilities, but rather adopting a heavenly perspective on them. Think of it as tuning into the "Heavenly Broadcasting Network" to receive the right information for daily living. Too often, we change the channel to faulty programming from the world, and then wonder why our lives are a wreck. We'll never become spiritual by using the world's methodology.
This "heavenly mindset for earthly action" is crucial for victorious living. It means considering God's perspective on every issue, allowing it to inform our decisions and actions here on earth. We need a kingdom mentality if we expect to receive heavenly benefits.
Colossians 3:3-4 explains why this shift in focus is possible. "For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory." Our old life, dominated by sin, is gone. Our new life is secure, hidden with Christ in God. Christ is to be the total sum of your life. We have been "raised with Christ" and "seated" with him (Colossians 2:13; 3:1). If Christ is your new identity (that is, if you’re a Christian) and heaven is your new location (you’re physically on earth but participating in the spiritual realm), then you’re called to live from that new perspective. Decisions are to be informed by an eternal, heavenly perspective rather than an imperfect, earthly one. We need a Christian view of the world—a kingdom worldview.
Putting Off the Old Self (Colossians 3:5-11)
Having established our new identity, Paul moves to practical application. He urges us to "put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature" (Colossians 3:5). This isn't a suggestion; it's a command. It's about actively fighting against the sinful desires that still try to control us. Paul provides a list of specific sins to eradicate: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires, and greed, which is idolatry (Colossians 3:5). He emphasizes the seriousness of these sins, reminding us that "because of such things God’s wrath is coming" (Colossians 3:6).
Paul reminds us in Colossians 3:7 that we once walked in these ways, but we have been saved and cleansed by Christ. We’ve been “raised” and “seated” with him (Colossians 3:1). Your spiritual bank account is full. Why go from the palace to the poorhouse spiritually? As Paul argues in Romans (see Romans 6:15-22), why offer yourself as a slave to those things from which you’ve been freed? Why continue to participate in things that you’re ashamed of?
He doesn't stop there. Colossians 3:8-9 continues the theme of discarding the old self, urging us to "get rid of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips, Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices." It’s like taking a shower and then putting on clean clothes. They complement what the shower was designed to do. Jesus Christ cleansed you by his blood. Therefore, you must ask yourself concerning your actions, “Will those clothes match what Jesus did in my life? Or will they dirty up what Jesus made clean?”
Instead of wearing the dirty grave clothes of the old self—by doing things like telling lies to one another—put on the clean clothes of the new self (Colossians 3:10). This renewal is a continuous process, "being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator" (Colossians 3:10). Paul emphasizes the inclusivity of this new identity: "Here there is no Gentile or Jew, circumcised or uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave or free, but Christ is all, and is in all" (Colossians 3:11). God does not have favorites, because Christ has first place in everything.
Putting On the New Self (Colossians 3:12-17)
Having stripped off the old, Paul now instructs us on what to put on. Colossians 3:12-14 lists the virtues that should characterize the new self: "Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity."
These are the counterparts to the dirty clothes of “the old self” (Colossians 3:8-9). And over all of this, we are to put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity (Colossians 3:14). If the qualities in Colossians 3:12 comprise the Christian’s new wardrobe, love is the overcoat.
One way we manifest the characteristics of the new self is by forgiving one another (Colossians 3:13). Some believers harbor unforgiveness, and it results in perpetual anger and bitterness. Why? Because, as far as they’re concerned, offenses committed against them linger like unpaid bills, and they demand payment. However, they forget that our vertical relationship with God is linked with our horizontal relationships with one another.
Forgiveness does not mean approving a sin or excusing evil. Rather, forgiveness means releasing people from obligations incurred by their wrongs against you. This may come in the form of unilateral forgiveness—that is, forgiving someone who has not asked for forgiveness. Or it may come in the form of transactional forgiveness, which involves the confession of the offender, his repentance, and reconciliation.
What makes forgiveness possible is recognizing that the Lord has forgiven you (Colossians 3:13). There is an inseparable link between forgiving and recognizing that you’ve been forgiven. To refuse to forgive, in fact, is to burn a bridge over which you must cross (see Matthew 6:14-15). If you refuse to forgive, you have blocked God’s operation in your life (see Matthew 18:21-35). But when you forgive, you no longer “grieve” the Holy Spirit (Ephesians 4:30), and you imitate the one who has forgiven you.
Colossians 3:15-16 emphasizes the importance of peace and the Word of Christ in our lives: "Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts." When you are committed to setting your mind “on things above” (Colossians 3:2), God will give you the peace of Christ—inner calm despite trying circumstances to help confirm your decisions and the directions for your life. If you don’t have that, something is out of alignment. So, in order for peace to rule, you must let the word of Christ dwell richly (Colossians 3:16). The Word of God must be at home in you, welcome in every room of your heart.
Our psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs are to be directed toward God and toward one another. With them we worship our Lord with gratitude, and we also teach one another biblical truth.
The section concludes with a powerful summation: "And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him" (Colossians 3:17). Doing something in the name of Jesus is like authorizing a contract with his signature. You are to do everything under the authority of Jesus, making sure he approves of your actions. Jesus’s name signed at the bottom of your day means his power is behind your life. You are to do all things with his reputation in mind.
Kingdom People in the Home (Colossians 3:18-21)
Paul now turns to specific relationships within the household, offering guidance for wives, husbands, children, and fathers. A Christian home is not just a place where some Christians reside; it’s where the authority of Jesus Christ rules the participants of a family (see commentary on Ephesians 5:22–6:4).
He begins with wives: "Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord" (Colossians 3:18). This is not a command of subservience. The husband serves as the “head” of the wife in a role of authority, just as God the Father is “the head of” God the Son (1 Corinthians 11:3). The Father and Son are equally God. Neither is greater in value; both share in the divine essence. Similarly, both a husband and wife are made in God’s image (Genesis 1:27). They are equal as human beings before God. But God has created them to operate with different functions in the home. Wives are to align themselves under the legitimate leadership of their husbands. This doesn’t mean that wives have no input. A wise kingdom husband, in fact, will always value the input of the kingdom wife God has given him! But the point here is that the husband has the ultimate responsibility for making decisions under God that affect the well-being of the family. Importantly, wives are not to submit to their husbands in just anything. Their submission is limited to what is fitting in the Lord—that is, to what falls within the boundaries of God’s will. A wife owes her ultimate allegiance to Jesus Christ—not her husband. If a husband asks his wife to sin, she does not owe him her submission.
He then addresses husbands: "Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them" (Colossians 3:19). A kingdom man, then, is not a dictator, ruling his home with a heavy hand and expecting his family to wait on him. Instead, he is a benevolent leader under the authority of God, acting with love and seeking the wellbeing of his wife and children. The husband’s model is Christ, who sacrificially loved his bride—the church—to the point of death (see Ephesians 5:25). Too many men marry because of what they expect to get out of marriage. They mistake the benefits of marriage for the purpose of marriage. Marriage’s purpose is the advancement of God’s kingdom in history through replicating his image and exercising dominion over the earth (see Genesis 1:28).
Next, he speaks to children: "Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord" (Colossians 3:20). Parents must be unified in their parenting, seeking to act as one, because it’s hard for children to obey contradictory instructions. Children are to obey their parents in everything. Kids are only to disobey parents should those parents tell them to disobey God. The proper ordering of God’s kingdom family requires children to be aligned under their parents, wives to be aligned under their husbands, and everyone to be aligned under the Son who is aligned under the Father. This glorifies God and allows his blessings to flow. Furthermore, dads and moms need to teach their sons and daughters the spiritual motivation for their obedience: it pleases the Lord. This fact should be taught from an early age. Children who are taught to obey parents who love them will come to understand what it means to obey their loving heavenly Father.
Finally, he addresses fathers: "Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged" (Colossians 3:21). Though children are to honor and obey both fathers and mothers (Colossians 3:20; Ephesians 6:1; Proverbs 1:8; 6:20), fathers have the responsibility of taking the lead in disciplining their children. Biblical discipline is exercised in love for the recipient’s well-being. As Solomon declares, “The LORD disciplines the one he loves, just as a father disciplines the son in whom he delights” (Proverbs 3:12). Never does a loving father want to exasperate [his] children and cause them to become discouraged. When you correct your children, you want to break their will—their stubbornness—without breaking their spirit. The goal is to lead them to willing obedience and righteousness. God takes the same approach with us, reminding us that “No discipline seems enjoyable at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it” (Hebrews 12:11). We need to know of the value God places on us. Likewise, our children need to know that they are significant and important and that we as their parents will love them and not place demands on them that they can never satisfy. Remember, rules without relationship lead to rebellion.
Kingdom People at Work (Colossians 3:22-4:1)
Paul extends his instructions beyond the home to the workplace, specifically addressing bondservants (slaves) and masters. While the social context of slavery is different today, the principles remain relevant for employees and employers.
Colossians 3:22-23 instructs slaves to obey their human masters (see commentary on Ephesians 6:5-9), which is a principle we can apply to our own vocations. Ultimately, regardless of our occupations, we all serve God and are accountable to him for the quality of our work (see 1 Corinthians 10:31; Ephesians 6:5-6). Therefore, we should serve our employers wholeheartedly, rather than being people-pleasers who work only when being watched. You live before a sovereign God who sees everything you do. His rewards for your faithfulness are better than any raise you can receive.
We are to work like it is something done for the Lord (Colossians 3:23)—because it is. Let your motivation be spiritual. Since you work for God, you are to produce excellence. Since you produce excellence, you should satisfy your earthly employer and your customer. Make no mistake: with God, nothing goes unnoticed. As a result of your faithfulness, you will receive the reward of an inheritance from the Lord (Colossians 3:24). But if you decide to be a wrongdoer instead, count on being paid back by the Lord for that too (Colossians 3:25).
Colossians 4:1 concludes this section by addressing masters: "Masters, provide your slaves with what is right and fair, because you know that you also have a Master in heaven." This reminder of God's ultimate authority and impartiality should guide all our interactions, ensuring fairness and justice in the workplace. God is the Master in Heaven over all mankind, and He expects those who serve as masters to be fair.
Colossians 3 offers a comprehensive guide to living a life transformed by Christ. It challenges us to reorient our thinking, put off sinful behaviors, embrace godly virtues, and apply these principles to our relationships at home and at work. By doing so, we can live out our new identity in Christ and bring glory to God in every aspect of our lives.
If ye then be risen with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ sitteth on the right hand of God.
Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth.
For ye are dead, and your life is hid with Christ in God.
When Christ, who is our life, shall appear, then shall ye also appear with him in glory.
Mortify therefore your members which are upon the earth; fornication, uncleanness, inordinate affection, evil concupiscence, and covetousness, which is idolatry:
For which things’ sake the wrath of God cometh on the children of disobedience:
In the which ye also walked some time, when ye lived in them.
But now ye also put off all these; anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy communication out of your mouth.
Lie not one to another, seeing that ye have put off the old man with his deeds;
And have put on the new man, which is renewed in knowledge after the image of him that created him:
Where there is neither Greek nor Jew, circumcision nor uncircumcision, Barbarian, Scythian, bond nor free: but Christ is all, and in all.
Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering;
Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.
And above all these things put on charity, which is the bond of perfectness.
And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to the which also ye are called in one body; and be ye thankful.
Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom; teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord.
And whatsoever ye do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by him.
Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.
Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.
Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord.
Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.
Servants, obey in all things your masters according to the flesh; not with eyeservice, as menpleasers; but in singleness of heart, fearing God:
And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men;
Knowing that of the Lord ye shall receive the reward of the inheritance: for ye serve the Lord Christ.
But he that doeth wrong shall receive for the wrong which he hath done: and there is no respect of persons.
Colossians 3 delves into the practical implications of the profound theological truths presented in the preceding chapters. Having established the supremacy of Christ and the emptiness of worldly philosophies, Paul now guides believers in Colossae (and us today!) on how to live out their new identity in Christ in everyday life. This chapter, along with the beginning of Colossians 4, offers a rich tapestry of instruction on Christian conduct, household relationships, and the motivation behind it all: a life lived for the glory of God.
Setting Our Minds on Things Above (Colossians 3:1-4)
Paul begins by urging us to reorient our thinking. He says in Colossians 3:1-2, since you have been raised with Christ, strive for the things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things." This isn't about escaping earthly responsibilities, but rather adopting a heavenly perspective on them. Think of it as tuning into the "Heavenly Broadcasting Network" to receive the right information for daily living. Too often, we change the channel to faulty programming from the world, and then wonder why our lives are a wreck. We'll never become spiritual by using the world's methodology.
This "heavenly mindset for earthly action" is crucial for victorious living. It means considering God's perspective on every issue, allowing it to inform our decisions and actions here on earth. We need a kingdom mentality if we expect to receive heavenly benefits.
Colossians 3:3-4 explains why this shift in focus is possible. "For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory." Our old life, dominated by sin, is gone. Our new life is secure, hidden with Christ in God. Christ is to be the total sum of your life. We have been "raised with Christ" and "seated" with him (Colossians 2:13; 3:1). If Christ is your new identity (that is, if you’re a Christian) and heaven is your new location (you’re physically on earth but participating in the spiritual realm), then you’re called to live from that new perspective. Decisions are to be informed by an eternal, heavenly perspective rather than an imperfect, earthly one. We need a Christian view of the world—a kingdom worldview.
Putting Off the Old Self (Colossians 3:5-11)
Having established our new identity, Paul moves to practical application. He urges us to "put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature" (Colossians 3:5). This isn't a suggestion; it's a command. It's about actively fighting against the sinful desires that still try to control us. Paul provides a list of specific sins to eradicate: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires, and greed, which is idolatry (Colossians 3:5). He emphasizes the seriousness of these sins, reminding us that "because of such things God’s wrath is coming" (Colossians 3:6).
Paul reminds us in Colossians 3:7 that we once walked in these ways, but we have been saved and cleansed by Christ. We’ve been “raised” and “seated” with him (Colossians 3:1). Your spiritual bank account is full. Why go from the palace to the poorhouse spiritually? As Paul argues in Romans (see Romans 6:15-22), why offer yourself as a slave to those things from which you’ve been freed? Why continue to participate in things that you’re ashamed of?
He doesn't stop there. Colossians 3:8-9 continues the theme of discarding the old self, urging us to "get rid of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips, Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices." It’s like taking a shower and then putting on clean clothes. They complement what the shower was designed to do. Jesus Christ cleansed you by his blood. Therefore, you must ask yourself concerning your actions, “Will those clothes match what Jesus did in my life? Or will they dirty up what Jesus made clean?”
Instead of wearing the dirty grave clothes of the old self—by doing things like telling lies to one another—put on the clean clothes of the new self (Colossians 3:10). This renewal is a continuous process, "being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator" (Colossians 3:10). Paul emphasizes the inclusivity of this new identity: "Here there is no Gentile or Jew, circumcised or uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave or free, but Christ is all, and is in all" (Colossians 3:11). God does not have favorites, because Christ has first place in everything.
Putting On the New Self (Colossians 3:12-17)
Having stripped off the old, Paul now instructs us on what to put on. Colossians 3:12-14 lists the virtues that should characterize the new self: "Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity."
These are the counterparts to the dirty clothes of “the old self” (Colossians 3:8-9). And over all of this, we are to put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity (Colossians 3:14). If the qualities in Colossians 3:12 comprise the Christian’s new wardrobe, love is the overcoat.
One way we manifest the characteristics of the new self is by forgiving one another (Colossians 3:13). Some believers harbor unforgiveness, and it results in perpetual anger and bitterness. Why? Because, as far as they’re concerned, offenses committed against them linger like unpaid bills, and they demand payment. However, they forget that our vertical relationship with God is linked with our horizontal relationships with one another.
Forgiveness does not mean approving a sin or excusing evil. Rather, forgiveness means releasing people from obligations incurred by their wrongs against you. This may come in the form of unilateral forgiveness—that is, forgiving someone who has not asked for forgiveness. Or it may come in the form of transactional forgiveness, which involves the confession of the offender, his repentance, and reconciliation.
What makes forgiveness possible is recognizing that the Lord has forgiven you (Colossians 3:13). There is an inseparable link between forgiving and recognizing that you’ve been forgiven. To refuse to forgive, in fact, is to burn a bridge over which you must cross (see Matthew 6:14-15). If you refuse to forgive, you have blocked God’s operation in your life (see Matthew 18:21-35). But when you forgive, you no longer “grieve” the Holy Spirit (Ephesians 4:30), and you imitate the one who has forgiven you.
Colossians 3:15-16 emphasizes the importance of peace and the Word of Christ in our lives: "Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts." When you are committed to setting your mind “on things above” (Colossians 3:2), God will give you the peace of Christ—inner calm despite trying circumstances to help confirm your decisions and the directions for your life. If you don’t have that, something is out of alignment. So, in order for peace to rule, you must let the word of Christ dwell richly (Colossians 3:16). The Word of God must be at home in you, welcome in every room of your heart.
Our psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs are to be directed toward God and toward one another. With them we worship our Lord with gratitude, and we also teach one another biblical truth.
The section concludes with a powerful summation: "And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him" (Colossians 3:17). Doing something in the name of Jesus is like authorizing a contract with his signature. You are to do everything under the authority of Jesus, making sure he approves of your actions. Jesus’s name signed at the bottom of your day means his power is behind your life. You are to do all things with his reputation in mind.
Kingdom People in the Home (Colossians 3:18-21)
Paul now turns to specific relationships within the household, offering guidance for wives, husbands, children, and fathers. A Christian home is not just a place where some Christians reside; it’s where the authority of Jesus Christ rules the participants of a family (see commentary on Ephesians 5:22–6:4).
He begins with wives: "Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord" (Colossians 3:18). This is not a command of subservience. The husband serves as the “head” of the wife in a role of authority, just as God the Father is “the head of” God the Son (1 Corinthians 11:3). The Father and Son are equally God. Neither is greater in value; both share in the divine essence. Similarly, both a husband and wife are made in God’s image (Genesis 1:27). They are equal as human beings before God. But God has created them to operate with different functions in the home. Wives are to align themselves under the legitimate leadership of their husbands. This doesn’t mean that wives have no input. A wise kingdom husband, in fact, will always value the input of the kingdom wife God has given him! But the point here is that the husband has the ultimate responsibility for making decisions under God that affect the well-being of the family. Importantly, wives are not to submit to their husbands in just anything. Their submission is limited to what is fitting in the Lord—that is, to what falls within the boundaries of God’s will. A wife owes her ultimate allegiance to Jesus Christ—not her husband. If a husband asks his wife to sin, she does not owe him her submission.
He then addresses husbands: "Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them" (Colossians 3:19). A kingdom man, then, is not a dictator, ruling his home with a heavy hand and expecting his family to wait on him. Instead, he is a benevolent leader under the authority of God, acting with love and seeking the wellbeing of his wife and children. The husband’s model is Christ, who sacrificially loved his bride—the church—to the point of death (see Ephesians 5:25). Too many men marry because of what they expect to get out of marriage. They mistake the benefits of marriage for the purpose of marriage. Marriage’s purpose is the advancement of God’s kingdom in history through replicating his image and exercising dominion over the earth (see Genesis 1:28).
Next, he speaks to children: "Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord" (Colossians 3:20). Parents must be unified in their parenting, seeking to act as one, because it’s hard for children to obey contradictory instructions. Children are to obey their parents in everything. Kids are only to disobey parents should those parents tell them to disobey God. The proper ordering of God’s kingdom family requires children to be aligned under their parents, wives to be aligned under their husbands, and everyone to be aligned under the Son who is aligned under the Father. This glorifies God and allows his blessings to flow. Furthermore, dads and moms need to teach their sons and daughters the spiritual motivation for their obedience: it pleases the Lord. This fact should be taught from an early age. Children who are taught to obey parents who love them will come to understand what it means to obey their loving heavenly Father.
Finally, he addresses fathers: "Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged" (Colossians 3:21). Though children are to honor and obey both fathers and mothers (Colossians 3:20; Ephesians 6:1; Proverbs 1:8; 6:20), fathers have the responsibility of taking the lead in disciplining their children. Biblical discipline is exercised in love for the recipient’s well-being. As Solomon declares, “The LORD disciplines the one he loves, just as a father disciplines the son in whom he delights” (Proverbs 3:12). Never does a loving father want to exasperate [his] children and cause them to become discouraged. When you correct your children, you want to break their will—their stubbornness—without breaking their spirit. The goal is to lead them to willing obedience and righteousness. God takes the same approach with us, reminding us that “No discipline seems enjoyable at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it” (Hebrews 12:11). We need to know of the value God places on us. Likewise, our children need to know that they are significant and important and that we as their parents will love them and not place demands on them that they can never satisfy. Remember, rules without relationship lead to rebellion.
Kingdom People at Work (Colossians 3:22-4:1)
Paul extends his instructions beyond the home to the workplace, specifically addressing bondservants (slaves) and masters. While the social context of slavery is different today, the principles remain relevant for employees and employers.
Colossians 3:22-23 instructs slaves to obey their human masters (see commentary on Ephesians 6:5-9), which is a principle we can apply to our own vocations. Ultimately, regardless of our occupations, we all serve God and are accountable to him for the quality of our work (see 1 Corinthians 10:31; Ephesians 6:5-6). Therefore, we should serve our employers wholeheartedly, rather than being people-pleasers who work only when being watched. You live before a sovereign God who sees everything you do. His rewards for your faithfulness are better than any raise you can receive.
We are to work like it is something done for the Lord (Colossians 3:23)—because it is. Let your motivation be spiritual. Since you work for God, you are to produce excellence. Since you produce excellence, you should satisfy your earthly employer and your customer. Make no mistake: with God, nothing goes unnoticed. As a result of your faithfulness, you will receive the reward of an inheritance from the Lord (Colossians 3:24). But if you decide to be a wrongdoer instead, count on being paid back by the Lord for that too (Colossians 3:25).
Colossians 4:1 concludes this section by addressing masters: "Masters, provide your slaves with what is right and fair, because you know that you also have a Master in heaven." This reminder of God's ultimate authority and impartiality should guide all our interactions, ensuring fairness and justice in the workplace. God is the Master in Heaven over all mankind, and He expects those who serve as masters to be fair.
Colossians 3 offers a comprehensive guide to living a life transformed by Christ. It challenges us to reorient our thinking, put off sinful behaviors, embrace godly virtues, and apply these principles to our relationships at home and at work. By doing so, we can live out our new identity in Christ and bring glory to God in every aspect of our lives.