Matthew 19 Commentary: Marriage, Divorce, and the Cost of Following Jesus
And it came to pass, that when Jesus had finished these sayings, he departed from Galilee, and came into the coasts of Judea beyond Jordan;
And great multitudes followed him; and he healed them there.
The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause?
And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female,
And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?
Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away?
He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so.
And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.
His disciples say unto him, If the case of the man be so with his wife, it is not good to marry.
But he said unto them, All men cannot receive this saying, save they to whom it is given.
For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from their mother’s womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven’s sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it.
Then were there brought unto him little children, that he should put his hands on them, and pray: and the disciples rebuked them.
But Jesus said, Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven.
And he laid his hands on them, and departed thence.
And, behold, one came and said unto him, Good Master, what good thing shall I do, that I may have eternal life?
And he said unto him, Why callest thou me good? there is none good but one, that is, God: but if thou wilt enter into life, keep the commandments.
He saith unto him, Which? Jesus said, Thou shalt do no murder, Thou shalt not commit adultery, Thou shalt not steal, Thou shalt not bear false witness,
Honour thy father and thy mother: and, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.
The young man saith unto him, All these things have I kept from my youth up: what lack I yet?
Jesus said unto him, If thou wilt be perfect, go and sell that thou hast, and give to the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven: and come and follow me.
But when the young man heard that saying, he went away sorrowful: for he had great possessions.
Then said Jesus unto his disciples, Verily I say unto you, That a rich man shall hardly enter into the kingdom of heaven.
And again I say unto you, It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God.
When his disciples heard it, they were exceedingly amazed, saying, Who then can be saved?
But Jesus beheld them, and said unto them, With men this is impossible; but with God all things are possible.
Then answered Peter and said unto him, Behold, we have forsaken all, and followed thee; what shall we have therefore?
And Jesus said unto them, Verily I say unto you, That ye which have followed me, in the regeneration when the Son of man shall sit in the throne of his glory, ye also shall sit upon twelve thrones, judging the twelve tribes of Israel.
And every one that hath forsaken houses, or brethren, or sisters, or father, or mother, or wife, or children, or lands, for my name’s sake, shall receive an hundredfold, and shall inherit everlasting life.
But many that are first shall be last; and the last shall be first.
Matthew 19 presents a rich tapestry of teachings, addressing marriage, divorce, the importance of childlike faith, and the challenges of wealth in the pursuit of eternal life. This chapter, situated just before Jesus' triumphal entry into Jerusalem, offers timeless wisdom relevant to believers today.
The Question of Divorce (Matthew 19:1-12)
Jesus, having left Galilee for the last time and now ministering in Judea, finds Himself confronted by the Pharisees with a contentious question: "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any cause?" (Matthew 19:3). This was no innocent inquiry; the Pharisees sought to trap Jesus in a debate between the stricter and more lenient interpretations of Mosaic law regarding divorce. Some rabbis permitted divorce only in cases of infidelity, while others allowed it for almost any reason.
Jesus doesn't engage in their legalistic wrangling. Instead, He elevates the discussion by appealing to the foundational principles of marriage as established in Genesis. He reminds them that God created male and female, intending for them to leave their families and become one flesh in a lifelong union (Matthew 19:4-5, Genesis 2:24). He declares, "So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate" (Matthew 19:6). God designed marriage to be a permanent relationship between one man and one woman, and only He can sanction divorce.
The Pharisees, undeterred, point to Deuteronomy 24:1-4, where Moses permitted a man to give his wife a certificate of divorce. Jesus clarifies that Moses permitted divorce because of the "hardness of your hearts," but that this was not God's original intent (Matthew 19:8). He emphasizes that the place to start is in the beginning—with God's creation of marriage, not with Moses's discussion of divorce.
Jesus then addresses the issue of adultery, stating that "whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery" (Matthew 19:9). This verse is often debated, but the core message is clear: God intended marriage to be a sacred and lasting covenant. While some interpret "sexual immorality" as the sole permissible ground for divorce, it's important to remember that even in such cases, divorce is not required. Reconciliation and forgiveness should always be the first course of action. Paul lays out in 1 Corinthians 6:1-6 the principle of having the church adjudicate legal disputes among believers; therefore, the church ought to determine the biblical permissibility of divorce for its members.
The disciples, upon hearing Jesus' teaching, exclaim that it might be better not to marry at all (Matthew 19:10). Jesus responds that this is a gift not given to everyone. He speaks of those who are eunuchs by birth, castration, or choice, emphasizing that celibacy is a calling, not a superior state of being. The decision to abstain from marriage and sexual relations is a personal one, meant only for those who are able to dedicate themselves fully to the kingdom of God (Matthew 19:11-12). Not marrying is intended for those who are able to abstain from it. Otherwise we should not deny ourselves marriage and the fulfillment of sexual desire in marriage.
Jesus Blesses the Children (Matthew 19:13-15)
In a tender moment, people bring their children to Jesus so He might lay His hands on them and pray. The disciples, perhaps thinking Jesus too busy, rebuke them. But Jesus intervenes, saying, "Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven" (Matthew 19:14).
This passage highlights the importance of childlike faith. Jesus isn't advocating for blind belief or gullibility, but rather for the humble trust and dependence that characterize a child's relationship with their parents. To enter the kingdom of heaven, we must approach God with a similar spirit of humility and reliance. He doesn’t want anyone to stand between him and children. That the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these (19:14) implies you have to be willing to humble yourself like a little child to come to Jesus as your Savior and experience his kingdom rule as Lord.
The Rich Young Man (Matthew 19:16-30)
A wealthy young man approaches Jesus, asking, "What good deed must I do to have eternal life?" (Matthew 19:16). Jesus first challenges the man's understanding of "good," reminding him that only God is truly good (Matthew 19:17). By calling Jesus "good," the man is implicitly acknowledging His divinity and therefore His authority.
Jesus then directs him to keep the commandments (Matthew 19:17-19), listing several that pertain to interpersonal relationships. The man confidently asserts that he has kept all these commandments since his youth (Matthew 19:20).
Jesus, knowing the man's heart, offers a specific challenge: "If you would be perfect, go, sell what you possess and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow me" (Matthew 19:21). This wasn't a universal requirement for salvation, but a pointed test for this particular individual. His wealth had become an idol, hindering him from fully committing to Christ. Loving our neighbor as ourselves (19:19), but the man had many possessions and was unwilling to part with them for the sake of a neighbor in need, thus revealing that he was indeed a sinner. And rather than acknowledge his sinfulness and come to Christ for salvation, he went away (19:22).
The young man leaves sorrowful, unable to part with his riches (Matthew 19:22). Jesus then makes the striking statement: "Truly, I say to you, only with difficulty will a rich person enter the kingdom of heaven. Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to enter the kingdom of God" (Matthew 19:23-24).
This isn't a condemnation of wealth itself, but a recognition of the seductive power of riches. Wealth can breed self-sufficiency and distract us from our need for God. People who focus on storing up riches in this world easily allow this world to distract them from thoughts of the world to come. As Jesus said, we should collect “treasures in heaven,” for they cannot be destroyed, stolen, or lost (6:20). Spiritual wealth is eternal, so be rich toward God. Disciples are not to pursue the things that unbelievers treasure. Doing so will keep them from getting their full rewards.
The disciples, astonished, ask, "Who then can be saved?" (Matthew 19:25). Jesus replies, "With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible" (Matthew 19:26). Salvation is not earned through good deeds or material possessions, but is a gift of grace made possible by God's power. He is able to overrule harmful attachments in our lives when we place our faith in him.
Peter, ever the practical one, points out that the disciples have left everything to follow Jesus (Matthew 19:27). He asks what they will receive in return. Jesus assures them that they will be rewarded in the new world, sitting on twelve thrones judging the twelve tribes of Israel (Matthew 19:28). Moreover, everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or children or fields for Jesus’s sake. Thus, all Christians who truly identify with Christ and forsake worldly gain to obtain heavenly gain through serving him, will receive a hundred times more and will inherit eternal life (19:29). To “inherit eternal life” is not only to enter eternal life but also to receive its benefits.
Jesus concludes with a sobering reminder: "But many who are first will be last, and the last first" (Matthew 19:30). Earthly status and achievements are not the measure of eternal reward. Many who are viewed as successful in this world will be paupers there, while many of the paupers in this world will be granted greater authority in the kingdom. So don’t let earthly success or worldly gain prevent you from sacrificing as necessary to serve the Lord in light of the rewards to be received in the world to come.
Matthew 19 challenges us to examine our hearts, our priorities, and our understanding of what it truly means to follow Jesus. It calls us to embrace the sanctity of marriage, cultivate childlike faith, and guard against the allure of worldly possessions. It reminds us that salvation is a gift of God's grace, and that true reward lies not in earthly riches but in eternal life.
And it came to pass, that when Jesus had finished these sayings, he departed from Galilee, and came into the coasts of Judea beyond Jordan;
And great multitudes followed him; and he healed them there.
The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause?
And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female,
And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?
Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away?
He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so.
And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.
His disciples say unto him, If the case of the man be so with his wife, it is not good to marry.
But he said unto them, All men cannot receive this saying, save they to whom it is given.
For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from their mother’s womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven’s sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it.
Then were there brought unto him little children, that he should put his hands on them, and pray: and the disciples rebuked them.
But Jesus said, Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven.
And he laid his hands on them, and departed thence.
And, behold, one came and said unto him, Good Master, what good thing shall I do, that I may have eternal life?
And he said unto him, Why callest thou me good? there is none good but one, that is, God: but if thou wilt enter into life, keep the commandments.
He saith unto him, Which? Jesus said, Thou shalt do no murder, Thou shalt not commit adultery, Thou shalt not steal, Thou shalt not bear false witness,
Honour thy father and thy mother: and, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.
The young man saith unto him, All these things have I kept from my youth up: what lack I yet?
Jesus said unto him, If thou wilt be perfect, go and sell that thou hast, and give to the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven: and come and follow me.
But when the young man heard that saying, he went away sorrowful: for he had great possessions.
Then said Jesus unto his disciples, Verily I say unto you, That a rich man shall hardly enter into the kingdom of heaven.
And again I say unto you, It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God.
When his disciples heard it, they were exceedingly amazed, saying, Who then can be saved?
But Jesus beheld them, and said unto them, With men this is impossible; but with God all things are possible.
Then answered Peter and said unto him, Behold, we have forsaken all, and followed thee; what shall we have therefore?
And Jesus said unto them, Verily I say unto you, That ye which have followed me, in the regeneration when the Son of man shall sit in the throne of his glory, ye also shall sit upon twelve thrones, judging the twelve tribes of Israel.
And every one that hath forsaken houses, or brethren, or sisters, or father, or mother, or wife, or children, or lands, for my name’s sake, shall receive an hundredfold, and shall inherit everlasting life.
But many that are first shall be last; and the last shall be first.
Matthew 19 presents a rich tapestry of teachings, addressing marriage, divorce, the importance of childlike faith, and the challenges of wealth in the pursuit of eternal life. This chapter, situated just before Jesus' triumphal entry into Jerusalem, offers timeless wisdom relevant to believers today.
The Question of Divorce (Matthew 19:1-12)
Jesus, having left Galilee for the last time and now ministering in Judea, finds Himself confronted by the Pharisees with a contentious question: "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any cause?" (Matthew 19:3). This was no innocent inquiry; the Pharisees sought to trap Jesus in a debate between the stricter and more lenient interpretations of Mosaic law regarding divorce. Some rabbis permitted divorce only in cases of infidelity, while others allowed it for almost any reason.
Jesus doesn't engage in their legalistic wrangling. Instead, He elevates the discussion by appealing to the foundational principles of marriage as established in Genesis. He reminds them that God created male and female, intending for them to leave their families and become one flesh in a lifelong union (Matthew 19:4-5, Genesis 2:24). He declares, "So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate" (Matthew 19:6). God designed marriage to be a permanent relationship between one man and one woman, and only He can sanction divorce.
The Pharisees, undeterred, point to Deuteronomy 24:1-4, where Moses permitted a man to give his wife a certificate of divorce. Jesus clarifies that Moses permitted divorce because of the "hardness of your hearts," but that this was not God's original intent (Matthew 19:8). He emphasizes that the place to start is in the beginning—with God's creation of marriage, not with Moses's discussion of divorce.
Jesus then addresses the issue of adultery, stating that "whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery" (Matthew 19:9). This verse is often debated, but the core message is clear: God intended marriage to be a sacred and lasting covenant. While some interpret "sexual immorality" as the sole permissible ground for divorce, it's important to remember that even in such cases, divorce is not required. Reconciliation and forgiveness should always be the first course of action. Paul lays out in 1 Corinthians 6:1-6 the principle of having the church adjudicate legal disputes among believers; therefore, the church ought to determine the biblical permissibility of divorce for its members.
The disciples, upon hearing Jesus' teaching, exclaim that it might be better not to marry at all (Matthew 19:10). Jesus responds that this is a gift not given to everyone. He speaks of those who are eunuchs by birth, castration, or choice, emphasizing that celibacy is a calling, not a superior state of being. The decision to abstain from marriage and sexual relations is a personal one, meant only for those who are able to dedicate themselves fully to the kingdom of God (Matthew 19:11-12). Not marrying is intended for those who are able to abstain from it. Otherwise we should not deny ourselves marriage and the fulfillment of sexual desire in marriage.
Jesus Blesses the Children (Matthew 19:13-15)
In a tender moment, people bring their children to Jesus so He might lay His hands on them and pray. The disciples, perhaps thinking Jesus too busy, rebuke them. But Jesus intervenes, saying, "Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven" (Matthew 19:14).
This passage highlights the importance of childlike faith. Jesus isn't advocating for blind belief or gullibility, but rather for the humble trust and dependence that characterize a child's relationship with their parents. To enter the kingdom of heaven, we must approach God with a similar spirit of humility and reliance. He doesn’t want anyone to stand between him and children. That the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these (19:14) implies you have to be willing to humble yourself like a little child to come to Jesus as your Savior and experience his kingdom rule as Lord.
The Rich Young Man (Matthew 19:16-30)
A wealthy young man approaches Jesus, asking, "What good deed must I do to have eternal life?" (Matthew 19:16). Jesus first challenges the man's understanding of "good," reminding him that only God is truly good (Matthew 19:17). By calling Jesus "good," the man is implicitly acknowledging His divinity and therefore His authority.
Jesus then directs him to keep the commandments (Matthew 19:17-19), listing several that pertain to interpersonal relationships. The man confidently asserts that he has kept all these commandments since his youth (Matthew 19:20).
Jesus, knowing the man's heart, offers a specific challenge: "If you would be perfect, go, sell what you possess and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow me" (Matthew 19:21). This wasn't a universal requirement for salvation, but a pointed test for this particular individual. His wealth had become an idol, hindering him from fully committing to Christ. Loving our neighbor as ourselves (19:19), but the man had many possessions and was unwilling to part with them for the sake of a neighbor in need, thus revealing that he was indeed a sinner. And rather than acknowledge his sinfulness and come to Christ for salvation, he went away (19:22).
The young man leaves sorrowful, unable to part with his riches (Matthew 19:22). Jesus then makes the striking statement: "Truly, I say to you, only with difficulty will a rich person enter the kingdom of heaven. Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to enter the kingdom of God" (Matthew 19:23-24).
This isn't a condemnation of wealth itself, but a recognition of the seductive power of riches. Wealth can breed self-sufficiency and distract us from our need for God. People who focus on storing up riches in this world easily allow this world to distract them from thoughts of the world to come. As Jesus said, we should collect “treasures in heaven,” for they cannot be destroyed, stolen, or lost (6:20). Spiritual wealth is eternal, so be rich toward God. Disciples are not to pursue the things that unbelievers treasure. Doing so will keep them from getting their full rewards.
The disciples, astonished, ask, "Who then can be saved?" (Matthew 19:25). Jesus replies, "With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible" (Matthew 19:26). Salvation is not earned through good deeds or material possessions, but is a gift of grace made possible by God's power. He is able to overrule harmful attachments in our lives when we place our faith in him.
Peter, ever the practical one, points out that the disciples have left everything to follow Jesus (Matthew 19:27). He asks what they will receive in return. Jesus assures them that they will be rewarded in the new world, sitting on twelve thrones judging the twelve tribes of Israel (Matthew 19:28). Moreover, everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or children or fields for Jesus’s sake. Thus, all Christians who truly identify with Christ and forsake worldly gain to obtain heavenly gain through serving him, will receive a hundred times more and will inherit eternal life (19:29). To “inherit eternal life” is not only to enter eternal life but also to receive its benefits.
Jesus concludes with a sobering reminder: "But many who are first will be last, and the last first" (Matthew 19:30). Earthly status and achievements are not the measure of eternal reward. Many who are viewed as successful in this world will be paupers there, while many of the paupers in this world will be granted greater authority in the kingdom. So don’t let earthly success or worldly gain prevent you from sacrificing as necessary to serve the Lord in light of the rewards to be received in the world to come.
Matthew 19 challenges us to examine our hearts, our priorities, and our understanding of what it truly means to follow Jesus. It calls us to embrace the sanctity of marriage, cultivate childlike faith, and guard against the allure of worldly possessions. It reminds us that salvation is a gift of God's grace, and that true reward lies not in earthly riches but in eternal life.